September 26, 2011

So Long, Farewell.

I've been playing video games for a while.  Halfway through my junior year of college, I decided to forgo playing single-player video games.  They had been taking more and more of my time, and I wasn't able to hold myself to a moderate amount of playing time a week.  It was a good decision that got me playing guitar more and pursing other things.  I still kept the Wii.  It was good for having fun while hanging out with friends, and it got a fair amount of quality use for that purpose.

After I got off the Trail I began to play again.  Several weeks went by, and I came to a point I had come to in high school where the games became something unhealthy and addictive.  Don't worry, it was nothing near the stories you hear about World of Warcraft addicts.  The reveal of my need to stop again came when I began to get angry at myself for not being able to healthfully control my playing time.  I have had the urge to sell the Wii before, but I was consistently able to rationalize that thought away by convincing myself I could control the amount I played.  This time, though, my anger could not be placated by that thought because it had repeatedly proven to be a lie to cover up for an unhealthy need to play.  There was nothing else for the lie to grab on to and rationalize about, especially because I didn't even have friends nearby to play with.  My anger at the lie was able to be sustained and I decided to sell the Wii.

This whole process felt like two voices inside of me arguing; when I was able to distinguish that there were indeed two distinct voices and not just one, I was able to identify one as my corrupt and one as the voice of the Holy Spirit.  Once these voices were named I had no doubts about my direction.  Within 24 hours I had posted the Wii and the entirety of my games and extras on Ebay and sold it.

It was very liberating, and I can say I haven't missed it at all.  Things have definitely been better without it.  I will say, though, that I don't believe video games to be inherently evil (although the content of some would qualify them) and that they can be used with self-control as a good relaxation tool or way to bond with people, much like watching movies or getting meals with others.  That said, I do think that many Christians (mostly young-ish guys) who play video games should take a serious look at their motivations and habits concerning them; just in case.

Look at where you choose to spend your free time.  Do you spend many more hours playing video game or watching TV shows or reading political blogs or playing music than you do personal time with God?  The number  of hours spent is not alone a measure, but it can be used as a starting point to look at how you walk out the things that are really in your heart.

September 8, 2011

Transitional Phase

Off the Trail.  In my hometown for a while, working in restaurant(s) and looking for full-time theatrical employment.  This transitional phase is weird.

I only know that job hunting is difficult, and so is adjusting to a new phase of life; I'm not a student anymore, I'm a working adult.  There's a whole new set of habits to form regarding my times with God and my other pursuits, especially seeing people.  When you're profession, by it's nature, is supposed to operate during most of the local population's free time (nights and weekends) your time off becomes mornings and random weekdays.  Fortunately for me there's a small demographic that is both available and willing to meet with me for meals pretty often; that demographic is "pastors of Warrenton Bible Fellowship."  I'm not sure if they've noticed this but if Pastor John and I plan a meal next week then I'll have met with the entire pastoral staff in the span of a few days.

The uncertainty of my future is not so much worrisome as it is grindingly frustrating.  That itself comes from attempting to figure out what I'll be doing with it, and where; I know I want to go into theater but I'm not sure what kind of job I get, and I could be anywhere in the country.

I'm not entire sure what I'm learning from this.  I know that at a minimum, I'm maturing.  It's definitely tough to not be around people very often, except my dad at home and some co-workers.  The good things are that I'm reading a lot, practicing guitar and working out.  I'm looking at everything I'm doing and asking how I can glorify God in it; I'm less successful at walking this out than I want to be.  It is a thought I keep returning too, and I can say thankfully that there is some good fruit coming of this.

I want to blog more, for two reasons.  One, because articulating my thoughts and feelings and making them public really gets me going down healthy paths when I write about issues.  Second, I have received enough feedback about this blog that I know it's something God uses through me to glorify himself, so I want to do that.  Next post, I'll talk about selling my Wii (video game system, if you're wondering) on Ebay and the process I went through to decide to do so.